


of heartbreaks and phone calls

by vianni



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, POV First Person, renjun's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-27 06:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18191228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vianni/pseuds/vianni
Summary: jeno finally gave renjun the last phone call that he expects.





	of heartbreaks and phone calls

**Author's Note:**

> Play taylor swift's all too well for a full experience lol

sunlight filters through the sheer, threadbare curtains of my apartment's living room as i fiddle with my pen, finding inspiration for a new art piece.

i haven't made anything since he and i got into an argument that blew out of proportion. it was just a small fight, but it was the last straw on top of all the things that we left to fester.

we haven't talked in days, weeks, maybe even months. at first I started counting the days, wondering who would be the first one to give in, which one of us would be the first one to say "i'm sorry, i still love you. let's make up." i waited and waited. time flew by but i only had dried leaves and the occasional empty packets of candy left by the mischievous neighborhood children waiting at my doorstep.

then my phone started ringing. his caller id showing up was enough for me to drop everything that I was doing. my heart paces quicker as i don't really know what to expect. at least that's what I tell myself.

"hey."

"hey you, Jen."

"how have you been?" 

i scoff. how have i really been? i dread waking up each day, cold and alone in bed, when his scent still lingers in the sheets. it hurts to see him have fun, like he is in a world where I don't exist at all, when I could barely lift my lips up to a smile. i want to tell him that everything inside me hurts at the every thought of him, but I can't.

"eh, fine I guess," i say as i try to feign indifference, "you know I don't really do small talk, what's up?"

he clears his throat before he starts, "i...i want to be honest with you. i know i could right?" his voice starts to soften, as if to ease me from the blow of what is about to happen.

"of course. that's all I'll ever ask of you." i do my best to hold onto an apathetic façade but it crumbles as my words seem to run over each other.

"if you say so..."

i laugh bitterly. "go on, i won't bite."

"when you suddenly asked me for a cool-off, it got me thinking and i... i just can't do this anymore. i know you're hurting and I don't want to do that any further. i've been ignoring this, us for so long. renjun, i tried going from the start, remembering how and why I fell in love with you. it made me happy, you made me happy and I won't have it any other way."

hearing him say my name like this, in his most honest, unintentionally cruel way was enough to make my world collapse. i shake as i cover my mouth to stifle my sobs.

"i just don't feel that way anymore. i know you love me, and you know i loved you too. but I just want to move forward. alone." he continues, shrugging off the silence from the other end of the line, "these past few days, i've been really happy without you, renjun. i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry."

"..."

"are you not going to say anything?"

"no. no, i don't think so." i gulp, trying to blink my tears away doesn't work as they continue to trickle down my cheeks. uncontrollably, uninterrupted.

"renjun, please say someth–"

i drop onto the floor, i hear his voice still talking but i can't make any sense of it anymore. i cry and i cry. 

seeing it coming, denying it from happening isn't enough to make it all easier.  
nothing is going to make it easier.


End file.
